Who Reads the Internet?

I'm at the Novitāte conference this week, so in lieu of this week's Frequency Analysis, here's a humorous observation inspired by Dan Geer's reproduction of a list titled Who Reads the Newspapers, which he credits to a long lost original source but was found here.

1. Bloomberg terminals are read by people who run the world.
2. LinkedIn is read by people who think they run the world.
3. X (née Twitter) is read by people who think they should run the world.
4. Reddit is read by people who think they should run the world, but who don't really understand X (née Twitter). They do however like conspiracy theories, but prefer to have them spelled out for them explicitly.
5. TikTok is read by people who wouldn't mind China running the world, as long as they don't have to stop scrolling.
6. ChatGPT is read by people who think humans shouldn't run the world.
7. Wikipedia is read by ChatGPT.
8. Google results are read by those who aren't too sure who's running the world, and don't really care as long as they can find a recipe that lists ingredients.
9. SnapChat is read by people who don't care who's running the world as long as they send nudes.
10. Facebook is read by people who aren't sure there is a world or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for.
11. Discord is read by people who think the people running the world care what they have to say.
12. WeChat is read by people who know they don't run the world.